a poem in a college notebook...

Lickity-splickity splat!
The cat ate grandma's hat.
The cat did choke,
and then it croaked.
Lickity-splickity splat!

at least for now...

If this could be a little less of me
and a little more like life:
for a time floating through the air,
living in space, less light
at least for now...
I wanted to learn to fly,
to bend what has to lie and make
something that looked like
it could be the facts,
at least for now...
Complex, it was defined,
but working within the given rhyme:
making something that I wanted
math or science something other,
at least for now...
Do not yell those obscenities
telling me what was supposed to be:
you are dark and dimming now
into the cold and swirling mist,
at least for now,
at least for now...

famous poet envy...

you should not look at me like that
it kills me to see you stare at me
like i'm the center of your world
tearing through this rhythm
making my way into the places i want to be
it is time for me to make some decisions
about the way my life should go
and it is time for you to sit there quietly
hold me close let me weep
ripping off all the awkwardness
tell me that you love me
it only hurts at first and only for a while
if the stars are shining for us
then let's just sit hushed and agree
do not argue with the whispers floating in the night sky
telling you that this is right
this is not the time to flee
away from this kind of best thing
close your lips and press them next to my ear
where they can sleep
and i will keep you safe

strange, but true...

Yeah, I just dreamed this, seriously. I'm glad I keep a notebook or a computer next to me at all times. In my dream I was sitting under a tree in a gorgeous sweater and a long flowy skirt, playing the guitar, and singing this to the wind. For some reason my hair was brownish and it kept blowing into my face, so I actually stopped mid song, pulled it back into a braid, and started over. My psyche is completely nuts.

The minute I gave up,
the minute my heart stopped,
is when I saw the colors fly by
in a technicolor sky.
The moment you held me
is the moment you sold me
on spending all of my days
wrapped up in this haze.
You promised with a kiss
it would always be like this
and I believed you,
because that is what I do.
Please never let this end;
always remember when
you told me this would last
and you calmed away the past.
In that whisper you told me,
in that minute where you showed me,
that life could be better
I wanted you forever.

shifty, shifty...

Another entry or two from my little notebook. It's been a really long time since I posted stuff from it.

You are welcome to look
until I shut you out.
Trust me when I say that
you are nothing special.
I see you the same as I see
him, or her, or them.
If you were different,
then I would keep you.
Shamefully, I will let you
keep plugging away.
If you want to waste your time,
you are welcome.
I want to want you,
more than I want to feel the wind.
Maybe burying myself in the sand
is the best solution.
It will slowly shift and crush me
as I breathe.
Then you will have me,
for as long as you want me.
----

I have a car, full of gas, ready to run.
Come with me into the hills,
we will spend some time basking in the sun.
If we hide behind the rocks,
and build ourselves a house in the valley,
they will not know where we have gone.
Tell me to come away with you,
I will be in your arms soon.
Nothing can stop me,
when I set my mind on what I want.
Let me run away with you,
somewhere, anywhere, as long as I can
fade away into oblivion with you.

bored insomnia haiku

Swedish Fish

So red and gooey.
You are a tasty lil bit.
In my tummy, yumm.
--
Brrrrr (Inspired by my situation after work tonight)

Shivering and cold,
Because winter is now here.
I forgot my coat.
--
Solution to an Allergy

Can you be my cat?
Sit and purr on my lap please.
You don't make me sneeze.
--
Sleepy Time

Stop now the silly.
Sleep is a good thing to get.
Off to dream of cake.

farewell...

If I leave you in the morning
before you see the sun,
promise not to cry love.
I'll be there in your arms still,
even though I'm gone.
Hold your breath,
and say a prayer.
Please do not worry,
I'll be right there.
With every beat your heart takes,
mine will take one too,
until I fall asleep again,
with a sigh,
right next to you.

now I am just stalling...

It's been a while since I put up limerick...

There once was a toe on a foot
That liked to play in the soot
It got lost in the fog
And kicked a stray dog,
And now in a shoe it stays put.


Not a limerick...

I've found a reason to drink
On every day of the week.
This drinking has caused
Me to take pause
And thank iGoogle for having such an amazing widget that would tell me daily a valid reason to go buy alcohol. Cheers!

hmm... yummy.

Can I come over
and hold you for a while?
If you would:
whisper to me in the dark,
and teach my how to smile again.
Please tell me that you don't love me.
That is not what I am looking for.
There was a time
that it would have been nice,
but not all stories
should end the way of ever after.
What about the night is sacred?
Why do people worship it so?
I was falling and you caught me,
but it was not the right thing,
the best thing,
the only thing.
There could have been a better way.
Someone is yelling truth in my ear,
and I am begging for you to lie.
Tell me your secrets
and listen to mine...
Let me be a little more than average.
Run your fingers
down my spine again
and show me how wonderful
it is to be worshiped like the night.
Make it better than it should be.
You could hold me, and I would not mind.
There are some things
I am willing to give up for something as great
as your arms around me.
It is all nonsense and imagined,
but I want it.
Just a taste for a bit,
and then I will let you be.
Just a taste of the darkness,
and of secrets,
and of the night.

if i could just hold on...

Could I wish you there and then away?
I want you close,
and yet I want my solitude.
There is this grey area,
a place where there is everything.
You will, no doubt, ruin heaven.
Yet, I can't seem to leave you
without feeling like I am missing out.
Your pull is magnetic.
My head spins and lights on fire,
simply standing,
sitting,
breathing,
talking.
The pulse is unavoidable,
and my blood boils at the thought.
Pulled close and pushed away.
Wants and needs
and everything that is you and me.
Every minute that I look into your eyes
is another minute that I lose hope.
My heart stops and I remember it is futile.
Yet, there is something more.
Something less.
The irony of the two coinciding
pushes me to see another day.
Splitting in half I am drawn away
and pushed toward.
The night and day are fighting for my soul,
and I haven't decided who I want to win.
You will, undoubtedly.
I will be left to sulk,
and yet I will enjoy it in the end.
We could skip the hard part,
but then life would be miserable again.

just a little diddy that hit me the other night...

Could you open the sky for me and let the rain fall?
Just let me be washed in the cool downpour.
My soul is weary.
My feet are tired.
There was a time that I believed in promises,
but then life happened.
It came on slowly,
creeping up on me like fog rolling over the hills.
Winding into my heart, choking out the life.
The sun is warm and lovely,
but I cannot feel it today.
What the hell gives you the right to torture me?
I lived for you.
I gave everything to you.
Crying and running I fell into your lap,
and you patted my head and sent me back.
How cruel can one mistress be?
How unfeeling?
You held my hand for a little while,
and now you turn me out into the street.
Just leave me then.
Just let me go,
release the right you have to me
and allow me to run into the night screaming.
It would feel good to taste freedom.
It would feel good to taste the rain.

okay, mom, I wrote this silly lil diddy just for you cuz I felt bad about writing something I knew you wouldn't like...

Skipping, skipping.
Falling, falling.
Whoops, I slipped on a snail.
There's water dripping
from the roof,
and landing in a pail.
Dripping, dropping.
Flipping, flopping.
Crash! The sky explodes.
Electricity lighting
up the air,
and putting on a show.

mom... don't read this... you won't like it... the language will make you mad... you have been warned...

When the sky falls,
I hope you are alone.
Sitting somewhere in the dark just watching.
You make my soul catch fire,
and then somehow there is nothing.
Leave this alone.
Stay out of it.
Let the fucking sky fall
and surround you.
Know me for just one minute.
The only way to understand
is to be surrounded
completely shrouded
in pain and darkness and beauty.
It is everything and nothing,
and I hope you find it alone.
Smell the flowers and
drink up the whiskey and gin
take a minute to let the wind whirl
and the earth shake.
The sky is falling down
and you have lost the wreath
that rested on your head
like some lost and sacred crown
and now you are nothing but someone like me.
If the world has left you alone
while you sit and call the stars into your lap
then maybe you can understand,
and finally fucking love me.
Let your soul fall apart.
My soul falls apart.
There has to be more,
but there is no more to take
and I wonder what will be left
when we turn around and walk away
from the place where you
sat as the sky crashed down.

liar, liar...

It's true,
I'm just neurotic and insecure enough not to let this go.
It will eat me alive.
Slowly, I'll die.
But meanwhile,
I will let you think that nothing is wrong.
Because,
I want you to be happy.
I want to make you smile.
My misery means nothing.
You in pain,
is the one thing that I simply cannot handle.
Therefore, I will make you believe.
I will play the game;
the role I was born to play.
I'm not a martyr.
I am just who I am.
And I want you to smile for me, because of me.
I want to be the one that makes you fall into blissful silence.
Please.
Let me lie to you.
Let me be the one that sacrifices myself for you.
Because, it is true:
I am just neurotic and insecure enough not to let this go.

cheers darlings...

Tears fall.
You sing sweeter when the lights go down.
Cheerful misery written in the lines,
etched upon your face,
a story older than how we see time.
There is a way out,
but why would you take it?
This is the way that life is,
it makes you feel better just to fake it.
Here's to beer and the good times,
brought on by the bad times.
Here's to life being unpredictable.
Raise a glass or a bottle,
hit the ground running don't stop.
It could be better,
but remember,
it could always get much worse.
Life is painless,
love can make it,
maybe you can cut off the disdain.
As tears fall,
you realize that good and bad
they are all the same.
The same reactions,
same attractions.
Things will always be this way.

look... more... I should stop...

A lofty goal, reaching the moon
and tying him down to the carpet beneath your feet.
It is not avoidable, it is a conquest.
You know, in your soul, that there is nothing-
nothing but the moon and your endless need for his comfort.
The moon holds you still,
Staring into your eyes he promises you everything-
The world, the stars, your dreams.
There is no escape from his endless gravity.
Pulling you close, he promises you
that he will always be there;
he makes promises not worth keeping.
Looking past the moon you see what you should choose.
There is more out there,
but the moon demands your full attention.
He holds you.
You comply, not bitterly, but because you know you must.
There will always be a tomorrow,
but there will also always be the moon.

this could be one of many tonight... we shall see...

Timing for a minute or an hour;
a matter of moments, a matter of power.

Can you imagine if it wasn't like this?
A struggle to survive and exist.
A constant battle between want and need,
between what you have and what you see.

For just a moment you find peace,
a place to rest your weary head.
For just a moment you are released,
but then you wake up dead.

Fragile, in a constant state of panic;
but that is not the point.
The point is that the world is beautiful,
but that you have to see beauty in the tragic.

this is the plan kids...

A shot and a half later:
Falling faster than she could have choked.
She dove into the ocean,
Hoping for the the best, hoping to float.

It was harder than she could have imagined
To survive on her own.
The siren song had been sweeter
Than her soul had tried to know.

Down, down into the water:
Pulling her faster than the speed of light.
Faster, faster into oblivion:
The tug was more powerful than her will to fight.

The voice sang to her sweetly,
Wrapping her in comfort and lullabies.
The wounds were cut so deeply,
Forever written in her heart the lies.

How could it be possible to forget the life she left?
The life she had wanted,
How could she break out from this?
So broken, emotionally stunted.

Do not run, it is not worth the pain.
Just give in and let it take over,
Someday the puzzle will make sense.
No fighting once fate takes you under its cover.

Was there a reason to think this would go well?
One and a half shots to drown:
Cutting deeper to let out the pain,
The surgeon rearranges the etched in frown.

Rabbit holes and party lights;
Give in to the good life ahead.
Diving deeper, drowning sorrow;
Get rid of the sleeping soul left for dead.

Stop with the crying!
Sleep will not help this fright.
Have faith in the fact that you are powerful,
They cower at the sight.

Time to take over.
Rip your fate from the hands of gods.
Wonder, ceaseless, everywhere:
The voices break out in applause.

bah...

When it is hot in April,
It makes the flowers sad.
They wilt, and die, and really
That is very bad.

Turning on the A.C.
When it should still be spring,
Makes me want to grumble,
It makes me want to scream!

Where are the April showers?
Where is the pretty rain?
This early summer weather,
Is driving me insane!

---
Okay, I know this is sub-par junior high (at best) poetry... but still. Does it really have to be this warm... in APRIL?

Today went well... So well, in fact, that I am going to write something for all of you. I'm not sure what will come next. Your guess is really as good as mine. I just ramble on after all, I don't actually think much of this through before my fingers hit the keyboard.
---

One score and almost four years ago, a girl set forth on a journey to rule the world! She was frequently thwarted in her early domination attempts and so she eventually gave up and decided to eat cake instead. Or did she?
---

Epitaph:

Here lies a perfectly good bit of chicken.
While it was alive, it pecked the ground, in death it was tasty.
The floor was its ultimate demise,
Those who knew this bit of chicken, will surly miss it.
Dear chicken, rest knowing that you made lives better before your untimely departure to the trash can.
---

Not a Limerick: (Slightly dirty for I have been previously reprimanded for the cleanliness of my prior not a limericks/real limericks)

There once was a girl with nice legs
Who liked the way boys would beg.
She wore scandalous skirts,
And skipped through the dirt,
Then she realized that she was objectifying herself in a horrendous way and committed the rest of her life toward the banning of such ridiculous and reprehensible clothing as the mini skirt.
---

The End
and
Nighty night friend types.